Ryan was a kid with a good little heart, But every time he moved, he let out a fart. At school, at lunch, even P.E. class, The dude couldn’t run without gassin’ the grass. It started in first grade, lil’ toots in his seat, By fifth he was known as the butt symphony elite. Teachers tried to blame the cafeteria trays, But Ryan’s back end was a bio-hazard phase. “Yo, Ry, was that you?” – “Nah man, musta been the chair.” But his face lit up like fireworks in midair. One time in gym, tryna dunk on the hoop, He jumped up high and dropped a sonic boom—POOP! ⸻ [Chorus] Can’t hold it in, no matter how he tries, The gas in his gut’s got wings, it flies. Ryan the Rumbler, storm in his jeans, Fartin’ through life like a spicy machine. Can’t hold it in, let the methane spin, He farts in his sleep and he farts with a grin. No shame in the name, yeah he’s playin’ his part, Just a boy on a mission with a musical fart. ⸻ [Verse 2] He tried every diet: kale, rice, and quinoa, Still tooted in math and blew out the teacher’s tea cup. One doc said, “It’s psychological, son.” Another said, “Your butt’s just havin’ fun.” He wore Gas-X like a chain on his chest, Did yoga and breathwork—but still no rest. One day he farted so loud in the library, The books flew open like it was February. Now he’s older, still walkin’ with that rumble, Squeaks in his step and a cheeky little stumble. But Ry don’t hide, nah, he owns his strife, He’s the breeze in the room, the toot of life. ⸻ [Chorus] Can’t hold it in, no matter how he tries, He crop-dusts halls like he’s baptizin’ skies. Ryan the Rumbler, king of the air, He farts so proud, he don’t even care. Can’t hold it in, got the crowd on lean, He farts so loud they add him to the dean’s team. No shame in the name, yeah he’s playin’ his part, Just a boy on a mission with a musical fart. ⸻ [Bridge – Spoken Word Over Dreamy Beat] You ever feel like life won’t let you hold it in? Like your truth’s too loud for silence? Ryan don’t run from it. He lets it out. He is the wind. ⸻ [Final Verse] Now he’s twenty-three with a podcast and mic, Farts live on Twitch, got sponsors from Spike. He wrote a book: “Blowin’ in the Wind” A memoir of cheeks, and how healing begins. So salute to the boy who embraced his flaw, Turned a funky little curse to a round of applause. Ryan the legend, the man, the myth, The only dude who dropped beats with a whiff. ⸻ [Final Chorus – Choir Style] Can’t hold it in, let the angels sing, He farted in church and created a spring. Ryan the Rumbler, true to the art, Living his life with an unbreakable fart. , Rap, Hip Hop,